idk 2

things have been so crazy latly but somethings are falling into place but then its like later on i feel like crap agian its only when i lay my head down and i try to sleep i get scared when I'm sleeping cause i dnt know what i feel the next day i dont know if ill be deressed sad happy or just a mess i dont know but i all i know i just want things to be right but we shall see what happens later

until next time

Blood

I Have Realized Somthing Yesterday That As Looking At Fake Blood The Feel Of It And How It Felt On My Skin It Sorted Made Me Feel More A Lil Eroused Then I Think Not That It's A Bad Now I Defftnaly Know How A Vampire Feels And How Blood Is Like A Drug To Them And How It's Like Sex To Them But I Dont Mind I Know It's Dangerous Cause Alot Can Happen In That Game I Just Hope That It Will Be Alright I Mean I Never Done It Before I Would Like To See How People Do It So That Way I Would Feel More Comfortable I Would Look More Into It Just For Safety Reasons And I Just Hope That It Turns Out Ok The Last Thing I Want Is For Some One To Get Hurt

Why Me

why me is what i say i guss becuse things always happend to me like ll this in my life is stared to stab me right in the chest and into my heart im trying my best to keep the pieces together but the pieces are slowing breaking quickly my darkness has reached to me again to the point im lost i have the biggest heart ever but its slowly hurting me and im going insane my thoughts and darkness are taking over me i really need help i just need to figure it out but i dont know where to start i just to need to see the light sorrow is my first love the darkness is where i know myself better then anything else in the world i watch i stare in the mirror but all i see is a ghost and she just smils back to me as she reaches a hand to me i touch her hand she says it will be ok be strong they need you more then yout think there deeprete she tells me and i just dont know how to feel im so lost i stare back to her with such lost in my eyes she follows my expression like she knows who i am i wonder if she dose but she cant she dosent know not a single thing i guess she guides me tru my fture and its broken espcally people who i care about and she tells me that if u dont want to lose them then you have to help as i was on my hands and kness crying she picks me up and tells me it will be ok even though ur darkness will counsume you just be there and help them they need u more then ever and with that she disapped the last thing she said was ill see you soon

happned again

well i had the dream again but this time it was jus with angelo man it was jus amzning i mean all the ones i have with chris are amzning but the dreams with angelo r also mindblowing i jus cant stop having them i mean angelo is a veri good looking guy as well next to chris like but theres sumthing about him hes veri shy i can tell but its ok

Is It Werid

Is It Werid that I keep having a sexual dream of emmpu from nightwish

This Stress Need To Go Away I Kant Deal With it

Go away

Wish this storm would go away I hate this